I'm not into Black Friday

All I'm hearing on business TV today is Black Friday. Black Friday. Black Friday. Black Friday. Black Friday. Black Friday.

???

I know some people live for Black Friday. They get up at three or four in the morning so they can be at the store for the biggest selection. Never mind that many retailers now run Black Friday specials all week long. These Black Friday People have to shop on Friday, dammit!

Not me. I'll take a pass. I have shopped on Black Friday, but I learned many years ago that it just isn't worth it. And now I can shop online. I still have several things in my home that were purchased on Black Friday, and each one has its own story about shopping for them. Not good stories.

The last straw came the year I wanted to buy earrings for my wife. A specific pair of earrings at a specific department store in Pensacola FL. (Yes, I checked out the ads) Oh man was that an experience!

So I drive to the store, found a parking space and headed to the doors. Then I noticed it appeared impossible to enter the store. The doorways were packed with people. I don't mean just inside the store, but in that no-man's land between the outside doors and the inside doors. The store had placed tables of merchandise between the sets of doors, and people were swarming around them.

I should point out that I don't like crowds. I really don't like shoulder-to-shoulder crowds. I especially don't like shoulder-to-shoulder crowds in department stores.

So I lowered my head and plunged forward. I made it thru both sets of doors. Miraculously I was in the store. I looked around and all I could see were people. LOTS of people. And they were loud. I thought about turning around and leaving, but no, I made it this far. I had to finish. I could not believe the store had any inventory left. Now where in the hell is the jewelry department?

I lowered my head again and started plunging. Fortunately the jewelry department was right in front of me. Once I got there, I immediately realized I would now way, no how find the specific item I was looking for. I was going to need a sales clerk. OMG! I'm in the middle of a mob. How am I going to do this?

So I again lowered my head and plunged. I eventually made it to a counter. After a few minutes, a well-dressed woman with a name-tag approached and asked if she could help me. I simply pulled the ad out of my pocket, pointed to the earrings and said, "this." She complemented my taste and said she'd go get a set for me. Holy crap! I'm going to be successful!

The lady came back after a few minutes and showed me the earrings. Oh yeah. Perfect. I paid for my purchase, then floated over the crowd and out of the store. Wow! What an experience!

My wife loved the earrings, but I decided that was my last Black Friday. Ever. If you need me on Friday, I'll be at home.